Jason Goldberg: The Art of Self Leadership

NARPM* 2015 Convention Workshop: The Art of (Self) Leadership

Speaker: Jason Goldberg

Before the convention began, we spent a day learning how to be in control of ourselves, our attitudes, and our business through the art of (self) leadership.  Mr. Goldberg went over the power of being a self-leader versus a prisoner and different tactics you can use to control your thoughts and emotions instead of letting others control them.  We have included our notes below and the pre-study material that he sent us.

Click here to access the material we studied before the workshop

The Art of (Self) Leadership:

• The ultimate excuse of why you won’t change: “That is just the way I am”
  • You need to answer the “why?” behind that question to actually start to change.
• All people choose to be a self-leader or a prisoner.  It is a personal choice that you control.
• Characteristics of a self-leader (aka as an owner):
  • You are a creator.
    • Your feelings are not connected by events. You do not need to manipulate others and events to feel better and create an positive reality.
  • You respond (this is responds like a first respondent at an accident; first respondents tend to be calm, cool, and collected.)
  • You lead people towards agreements.
    • “Here is what I need from you by this time. Can you agree to that?”
    • Even when the employee agrees, ask them what they need from you to accomplish it.  Make sure to offer them the help then so they absolutely agree to the conditions and have no excuse that they didnt have “xyz” to meet the deadline.
    • Agreements push people to meet someone’s expectation, not just a deadline.
    • If they don’t meet the agreement, ask “what needs to change so we can meet it?” It is about addressing the agreement not the action or lack thereof). You can say yes, no, or renegotiate but the agreement needs to be co-created.
  • You use words to create the life that you want to lead.
  • You live life as a verb (serves, etc.).
  • You serve people.
  • You add “flavor” to an event.  (Example: Tofu on its own is flavorless.  When it is put in a good sauce, it takes on that flavor and becomes delicious.)
• Characteristics of a prisoner (aka as an victim):
  • They are reactors.
    • An outside force determines your thoughts and language.
    • You are at the whim of circumstance.
  • They have expectations that are put on others and often are not lived up to.
  • They use words to describe/ report on their world
    • Common phrases they use: ” I am just saying what is going on”, “I am just being a realist”.
  • They are a noun or their title.
  • They are people pleasing.
• Victim mentality/”fixed personality”: Personality is learned and cannot be undone.
• Being a victim/prisoner is not a sign of stupidity. It takes time and practice to think like a self-leader.
• Language is important in deciding to be a prisoner or self leader.
• Optimism is possibility-based thinking. You can create your future rather than reacting to it.
• Optimism is a mind-set, a system of thinking – not a personality trait. It can be learned.
• One mindset is not right or wrong; one is just more effective – optimism has been proven to be more effective.
• Disappointments come from expectations. Release those and instead ask: “what would be an ideal outcome?”
• How do you help someone who doesn’t want it? You can’t make people see the light but you can be the light and set the example.
• Commitment doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Just take one day at a time. Mr. Goldberg stated that he didn’t lose 130 lbs. He lost one pound 130 times.
• The words you speak become the house you live in.
• Commitment: prisoners make it based on a feeling and a lot of time you are just interested in the idea because of the feeling; for self leaders it is a choice.

* National Association of Residential Property Managers (narpm.org)